Fail. Fail. Fail.

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OH the irony!  I swear something funny always must happen to the CatMan!  I was trying to behave myself today too!  So today, I decided that I was going to help my mom make a cake.  I really felt like I was helping when I realized I was doing it all wrong.

 

I definitely bake like this lady...High heels and all...

 

 

The problem is I really don’t bake…now cooking is another story!  But the last time I baked anything it was in college and my Zucchini bread ended up smoking out my kitchen, exploding everywhere and making quite a mess!  Definitely wasn’t what I had planned.

This mess started as soon as I tried to pull the flour out of the freezer.  Being vertically challenged causes all sorts of grief let me tell you.  On my tippy toes reaching as far as I could…I was closer, and closer, and finally had the little booger in reach when all of a sudden my toe cramped and the darn thing fell on my face!   Now I always teased about being a white girl before but now I really was a white girl!  🙂

Next issue was mixing all of the items together.  Granted I was having issues before hand but now it really became apparent baking was not for me!  I mixed the eggs, box of “mix”, water and the oil started stirring when I realized I was totally mixing the wrong proportions!  How could this happen?  2 eggs instead of three…1-1/3 cup water not 2 cups, 2 tteaaaaasssppoooonnnss of oil not 2 tablespoons……then I learned this after the fact….when something is too liquidy…like soup for an instance if it is too runny, add some flour to it to make it thicker.  Guess what?  In this circumstance, you can’t!  Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things!?

 

OH NO!!!

 

 

Next, I forgot to preheat the oven in all my dismay.  That was the easy fix…next I got everything established .  It called for a 2-9″ round pans OR 9″ pan greased.  I made do with what I had…let me tell you it was totally not either of those options.  Minor details.  I then shoved that thing I called a cake in the oven!  AH-HA!  I will show you my little friend what it’s like to be baked!  I was praying that it tasted alright!  My mom mind you is laughing at me the whole time!  Not just a little tee-hee laugh either.  It was more like a deep belly laugh.

5 minutes later, the oven was smoking because apparently the pan was too small…sigh.  It was too much for me.  It blew up, then I blew up!  I couldn’t even bear to look at the mess that was surrounding me.  I actually laughed at my stupidity.  Today was not the day for me to bake a cake apparently!  At this point my mom felt a little sympathetic and helped me address this “hole” we called a kitchen.  It was a hole because that is what happened when I tried to jolt thru baking a cake.  (HEAVY)  Sigh.

 

It was like a party in the oven if you ask me!

 

My mom gave me a big hug as we laughed at such horrible baking skills!  She did say that I could be on the one Food Network show, “America’s Best Baker. Wink!”  HAHA.  Oh well what to do but just laugh!  Life is still good whether you can follow directions, bake, or preheat an oven….I think I need to get new glasses!

I don’t smoke but, if I did…someone hand me a cigarette!!

CatMan

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6 thoughts on “Fail. Fail. Fail.

  1. Catman, this is hilarious. But seriously, you screwed up a cake mix!!!!! We have to talk…and bake together someday! I’ll show you a thing or two.
    And whatever you do, please do not visit my blog today.

  2. This was so funny it was hard to believe. But, the one question I kept thinking through it all…where the heck was your mom? Why wasn’t she screaming “stop it, you are doing it all wrong!!!”.

    I hope you didn’t need the cake or someone’s birthday or they are for sure getting a store bought cake this time.

    • It made for a good story of course! The best part is I can truly cook and bake but, somedays are so much harder to do so. My problem is I rush thru instructions instead of being patient with it. Instead of giving it some TLC– I just slam it together. That my dear is my problem in baking…sigh.

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