Day 51: Prime Number

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“Love others as God has loved you. Ask God to grant you the grace and goodness to keep no record of the wrongs done to you.” (as posted from my cheer coach)

I think this is very fitting for today as last night I totally got thrown a curve ball.  An ex-bf that hurt me so much contacted me last night.  It really took me by surprise.  I had this inkling in the morning that something might happen, yet I just forgot about it.  You see, 2 years ago yesterday was the date we started dating.  Interesting timing, right?  This was Nomad and he didn’t connect the dots there.  It was a crazy time but there was a lot of joy there too.  Needless to say we hadn’t talked since New Years and it was nice hearing from him.  I forgave him for all he had done to me.  I also forgave him for breaking up with me on Valentine’s Day in the coward fashion he did.  I am in a better place.

It was random and actually made me very happy.  Even though I was taken back by it, I have just recognized that he and I will always be better served as friends.  I am over the hurt and I actually have him to thank as I can help and relate with other friends going through the similar.  It is a hard thing to realize, yet I am at complete peace.  I feel like that is exactly what I needed to test it too.  He seems to be doing the same ole same ole, but his heart is softer.  For that fact, I continue to pray for him.

I titled this post “Prime Number” as I think this is the prime concept needed in beginning to love a person.  As humans, we hurt ourselves, beat ourselves up, and project that on others which allows them to feel just as bad as we do.  We really as a whole need to work on that.  Once you see that it was nothing so personal and it was just a reflection of hurt in their own life, it makes it easier to forgive them.  I have forgiven him…I pray to forget that hurt and build a stronger foundation.  This foundation will then be set upon mutual respect and love.  Only then will that friendship, relationship, etc grow in goodness.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

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