I have found that I am a heavy analyst and a processor. I like to talk things out. I like to play detective and try to determine what is the most probable fate for my situation at hand. I think I probably watched too much CSI and NCIS as a child, but I continue to still analyze and thoughtfully ponder none the less.
Sometimes the most loving action someone can take toward someone who likes to “talk it out” is really take no verbal action at all. Sometimes all I need to do is spit whatever it is in my mind out with a logical sound ear at my disposal and it is that silence of listening intently to make sense of the babble coming out that is the most loving action a person could give. Once it is out in the open, much like a puzzle, pieces of the puzzle are able to be placed together one by one and solutions become clear. There are other ways to draw clarity as well but this is my go-to usually. If you desire to work on your listening skills, this was a good little article I found, http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtolisten.htm.
Other ways to which I find helpful for processing would include journaling, coloring or painting, singing and randomly dancing around like a goose, going on a drive, spending time in silence, praying, or pondering whatever it is bothering me in my heart. If I can talk it out with someone who is my most immediate relief in drawling clarity usually. Another set of eyes on the matter is never really a bad idea I suppose as ultimately I am the one making the final decision on the matter at hand.
It is both a blessing and a burden to be an analytic type. When it comes to situations though, I almost always have to have some sort of closure at hand before I can get them out of this mind of mine. It is painful when I must hold something in my head and heart for too long before it finally goes. Patience. Prayer. Life is so messy and intertwined sometimes. I have grown in acceptance with knowing I cannot control or change certain situations and that actualization has helped in letting go and giving it back up in prayer.
I think why I like verbalizing what is going on is because then everything is out in the open. Free as a naked Jay bird! Truth, honesty, lies, facts, love, hate, gossip, and emotions of all kinds come out and then once released–I can breathe. The problem here is that by speaking what is in that dear little head of mine, it can be hurtful, overwhelming and more destructive than constructive.
To limit the amount of destruction, I have a few friends who have helped at one time or another just simply listening and giving me their heartfelt advice. My parents have helped me significantly in this department too. It can be hard as you want to be considerate of the time to which you ask a friend to help you process things. They might be sleeping or working or doing something to which they aren’t able to listen right away. God is always up and always there. No curfew. No sleep. No limit to his time listening to you on account of something “popping up”. I do my best to process and voice my concerns to God now-a-days. That has seemingly been the one thing to which has helped me achieve peace.
When there is much overwhelming matters on my mind, I speak directly to God and tell Him all of my worries, stresses, situations, emotions–everything no matter what time it is. That way nothing is said out of emotion and I can truly reflect. No harm done to others and God can handle it. Then, no one gets overwhelmed by my craziness and God already knows what is happening anyways.
Whether I talk it out with friends or God, I have come to the conclusion that love is silent listening. Love is donating the time to helping a friend process and throw it all out there. Love is giving support physical, mental, emotionally, spiritually and through prayers.
Just something to ponder….