5 Pairs: The Title “Shoe Whore”


So I have had a lot on my mind lately.  When I got ready for work, there was snow on the ground.  I decided to pack my gym shoes and then wear my boots.  By the time I got to work I switched into my gym shoes and noticed that they were stuck on something….another pair of shoes!  Yep.  Another pair of shoes….here is where it gets really funny.

A month or so ago, I bought some shoes.  2/3 pairs didn’t fit.  So I wanted to send them back to get a refund.  So, I decided to bring both boxes with their proper shoes in them to work.  At this point, I was sitting with 5 pairs of shoes.  You know just in case I was like indecisive or something…I laughed really hard about that one.

Mark my word, I am only leaving with 3 pairs of shoes.  For a while there I though, “Man, I really look like a shoe whore or shoe thief!”  The thief part was ruled out because there is no one except for children that wear my size of shoe.  Since work has no children present…they just couldn’t be someone else’s here.  So that left me with only one other title that makes perfect sense and that is Shoe Whore.  Yes….while this title might seem a little harsh, there is some truth behind this title.  Who ELSE has 3 Tupperware’s full of shoes? (this girl!–pointing above my head–guilty as charged!) Who else has too many shoes that she has a 2nd shoe section in her room? (this girl!–pointing above my head–again…guilty as charged!)  AND WHO has shoes in different colors, heels, sizes etc.  IT’S ME!  Shoe Whore seems to fit.

BUT I can explain!  I have a small foot!  I have to buy them when I find them or else I am doomed.  I have to buy them when they are on sale or else I would owe them my right arm, left foot, and first-born child.  I HAVE TO….I have to be picky, but yes I do have a lot of shoes.  I suppose I should just accept the title of Shoe Whore with gratitude.

But, does the title Shoe Whore come with a crown?  A wand? or any other special storage units for additional foot wear?  No.  It just gets you a lot of harassment.  Don’t worry!  I can handle it!

CatMan, The Shoe Whore