An Eventful EXTENDED Weekend…

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This weekend has been far from ordinary.  It is strange when life takes it course the laughter just seems to seep out of everything.

Making it on the list of things that occurred:
1.  Grandma’s house caught on fire
2.  Herb is in the hospital
3.  No fun in the sun really at all this weekend except for what I got in the car
4.  No house cleaning attempted; no house keeping claimed
5.  Slept in at the cost of missing breakfast….it was worth it though!
6.  Trying to freeze off a small but pesky little plantar wart….grrr…
7.  Got a great chance to catch up with Sassy Sis and had some good humor with her children

Friday:

Get a call early in the morning, Herb was having a hard time breathing so they took him into the hospital.  Went to see him at lunch-time and we shared his meal because he just wasn’t all that hungry.  He seemed lucid and with it.  Good sign.  I left work early to help judge a cheer try-out for a friend.  I was planning on going over to Sassy Sister’s house right after.  At approximately 6pm I went over there.  She fed me wine and pizza and then we talked for a good 4 hours.  Her 2 very smart beautiful little boys made me laugh so hard.  They have so much energy!  The best comment, just as I was walking out the door was “Here Ms. Cat! Don’t forget your baby wipes for your baby!”  I looked at Sassy Sis and was completely puzzled!  They made us both laugh to tears.  Sassy goes, does he know something that we don’t know?  HAHAHA.  Nomad didn’t laugh as hard as we did about the situation…

Saturday and beyond:

I was up talking to Herb and I thought you all would get a kick out of this one.  A few nights ago, he tried escaping.  Uh huh….like the determined man he is, tried to get up on his own.  He pulled his catheter and IV out.   OUCH!  When I got there, he just rolled his eyes.  The one nurse said as he was trying to pull his cords out again, “you don’t want to pull your penis off now do you?  Because that’s what will happen!”  He just rolled his eyes and we just laughed.  Hearing aid battery went dead.  He seemed to be getting confused.  Less crisp as the days progress.  He still needs some paperwork to be signed and such but that I don’t think is going to happen.

Needless to say every family is dysfunctional, but Herb really doesn’t get along at all with his true blood family.  This is not new news.  It is such a shame.  He has suspicions that their intentions are not from the heart….well I cannot speak on their behalf but, I can say that I agree with Herb 100%.  This has been a hard process for me.  It is very humbling seeing him go thru this…it also really sucks.  I have done a lot of praying and discerning.  I had to lift him up, witness him flashing me accidentally, him trying to escape and me actually holding him back and helping feed him.  It has been a really hard process.  To see a man who was completely independent and going thru this “damit, I need you to do this for me…” frustrated stage is a true bitch.

In my heart, I know he is tired of it all.  I am hoping this is just a phase and he will bounce back once his medicine gets regulated.  I truly never thought at 25 I would ever be walking with a friend thru this stage of his life.  I know that he appreciates it…but he too feels as helpless as I do.  Yesterday, was a rough day and that was hard.  Today was especially hard because he was getting more confused.  The nurse told me it was from carrying fluids on board…but you know when the joking gets less and he just is sitting there is simply enough.  He keeps asking about his cart…”where’s my cart?” I would retort “Herb, It’s safe at the apartment for you.”  Herb would then reply with a hesitance, “Ok…alright I guess.”

OH OH OH!!! I didn’t tell you!!!  Thursday, Herb’s NEW motorized cart was almost accidentally stolen by another lady eating at the Cafe’.  It looked similar enough to his, yet settings were different enough that yeah.  He yells from across the room “hey HEY HEEEY”  (progressively getting louder)…I simply walked up to her and told her I thought she had the wrong cart….she agree’d and that was that.  It was flipping hilarious!!!

Well so that is that.  Nomad is to be calling soon so I must jet!  Love you all and remember (as Herb always says!)  Life’s a bitch, then you die!  (fingers crossed on the second part that isn’t the case this time!)  Please keep him in your prayers!

Love your family.  Be merciful and compassionate to them.  We know not the struggles they face and we know not how much time they have left.  Make sure to kiss and sincerely make up at the end of everyday.  Do not let a moment waste!  Tell them what they mean to you daily…they may get sick of it but, at least they will know!

 

Creative Cursing…

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I picked up this book while with Nomad called Creative Cursing.  Well I figured since I have a “sailor mouth” anyways, why not?  I might learn something….or laugh a little harder?  You never quite know with me.  I brought this into the office with me yesterday.  I thought it might be able to loosen everyone up (or get us a sexual harassment suit!) from the already tight tense atmosphere.  OH it totally did the trick….

Most of these words I will not mention for fear of there being little ears…that is not the way I want to scar children.  I already scar them with my spastic and random personality…I am like a nothing they have ever met and because of that I am preeeeetttttyyyy sure they might at first be afraid of me.  That’s ok.  I would rather them be afraid of me for being a little weird than me having to put the “fear of God” in them.  Maybe that’s just me though.

“Nut Muncher” (hehe)

“Panty Bandit” (your face is slowly turning red…I see it!)

…at least I’m not a “Schlong Jacket” (hahaha)

“Sissy Wanker” (what’s that?)

“Snot Biscuit” (eww haha)

…Stop being such a ….”Wench Waffle!!!” (at this point I know you are just crying…)

…YOU….ARE…. SUCH-A…. “Slut Sniffer!!” (bahahahaha!  We all know one of those…hahahahahaha)

…oh yeah?…at least I’m not a “Sack Beater”  (come on….at this point if you are not just about to wet yourself then, there is something wrong with you!!!!)

This is my therapy.  Relatively innocent, or at least I feel like it is!  I woke up not in the best of moods this morning.  I literally had to force myself to choose to smile and that wasn’t too hard because the sun started to shine!  WHOO!!

Have you ever just realized that things are just as good as they ought to be?  Prayers are answered and everything is starting to make a little more sense!  🙂

Come on Nomad?  Really? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDUOcHg5ijg OK nothing implied here but, I really like this song at the present moment.  Kind of funny.  Freaked you out didn’t I??  😉

xoxo

CatMan

“Catch the sun before it’s gone”

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First off, ANYONE that says Fort Wayne IN has medians everywhere has never been to Orlando!  There are a bazillion of them literally!  Today I had a free day with Mr.Y.  Both of us could not have gone straight to the show after flying.  We had been mildly under the weather, semi stressed out, and over all just had to get organized enough that it wouldn’t be enough for us to justify it.

Today we ventured SE to Cocoa Beach.  It was beautiful and wonderful.  We made a lot of friends.  It was well worth it.  I talked to the ladies in Dunkin’ Donuts, I got hit on by a kid on the beach and he was pretty cute, met a painter who does wonderful work…he was a trip, collected sea shells with the children and just laid out some.

Cocoa Beach as painted by Jeff

Note to Male hitting on a Female: Please don’t talk about yourself like you are the best thing since sliced bread.  Please don’t ask a girl to lift her sunglasses up so he can see your face, or show her your muscular thigh thinking it might impress her….because guess what it won’t and if you are lucky her thighs might be better looking than yours.  ALSO, just because you work as a personal trainer, it doesn’t mean shit!  🙂  I am just saying.  Ok now that that is off my chest.  No but picture it like this skinny wannabe buff guy, flat billed white Hurley hat, Ray Ban’s, and then shaved chest and try to take the man seriously….

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So probably should have prefaced this situation a bit:  Mr. Y and I are staying in Orlando.  We drove an hour away to go to Cocoa Beach.  It was a nice easy drive and we got there around 10am.  I picked up 30 SPF sunscreen.  The spray kind.  I thought that I was being so proactive.  Yeah.  Now that you know that…….I am going to continue…..

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We spent from 10-3 pm at the beach.  I made friends with the parking lot guy (per usual).  He was from Chicago (couldn’t tell his accent AT ALL) and he moved down here with his wife and family about 10 years ago and not been back since.  He owned a car dealership.  Interesting huh?  Well anyways….Mr. Y and I rented chairs and sat out all day in the sun.  I sprayed my body all over then had Tom reinforce it.

I played in the waves, looked for sea shells with the children playing on the beach, making fun of the life guards whom were having quite a social hour…, we talked and made friends with Jeff the painter who was actually a pretty cool dude.  Originally from FL, then lived in Hawaii, and some other areas.  He paints with Acrylics.  I was so amazed by his beautiful shots of the beach…they were just fabulous.  But, he has been doing it for 20 years….

ANYWAYS, when we were ready to go, we gathered our stuff and got in the car.  We went to a place that was recommended by Jeff the painter.  We had to pull several U-turns…when we get there…Greek Food.  We both get the beer battered Flounder.  It wasn’t all the way done so we just kind of rushed on out of there ($40) later….at least the root beer was good!  SO, we just drove back to Orlando.  Well the thing is we just kind of winged it and the GPS got pissy.  REALLY irritating when you are going the right way and it keeps telling you to turn around…so finally we get back and showered.  When I stepped into the bathroom area OH DEAR GOSH! I realized just how bad my tan was!  I was splotchy burnt everywhere!  Talk about a sun screen fail….or maybe operator error?  I bought some $10 aloe and then Mr. Y and I ventured for dinner….since we didn’t want to get sick on BAD FISH.

TGI Fridays, a sangria, an apple martini, and nachos later life is good!  Best dinner ever and we were close to home!  All in all crazy day!  Now I prep for tomorrow and sleep!