Dream Weaver: Death by Sticky Buns

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Remind me.  You will have to as Gram’s “forgetfuls” are rubbing off so greatly at this point…remind me never to eat pizza and drink a glass of wine before bed.  This is the end result…sigh.

Experts They always say, “Dreams are a reflection of our inner most subconscious” well in this case I definitely would have to agree.  So get this!  I was at a hotel with this very good looking man.  He was smug, had a great smile, dressed to the Hilt, and most of all he was there all for me.  I was excited.

I don’t remember checking in, but I had a key.  Well he followed me in we laid our luggage down and you already know where this is going….we went out to the patio and laid in the grass.  Things started getting really steamy and I hear this knock on the door…so I get up and get it.  It seemed urgent.  Well here I was standing pant-less at the door in this big button down shirt that barely covered my rump!  It was my best friend and roommate from college at the door!  “Come here now I have to show you something…”  At that moment I looked to the patio.  I looked at her and I knew exactly what I had to go.  “Excuse me cute man with the big Popsicle,  but I must go see this…even though I would rather just lay….”

Next thing I know I am following Blizzy running swiftly down the hall of this ever so fancy hotel, still pant-less mind you, and it was up the stairs we go.  She takes me into a secretive hotel room where the TV was set up like a “Secret Agent” headquarters.  She was still shaking her head at me being pant-less.  We slide in and sit on the edge of the bed in front of the TV.  This cheesy video “update” comes on and she makes me watch the whole thing.  THE WHOLE THING….that’s another story…imagine this:

70’s music, flashing text with big retro lettering “WARNING” across the screen…this male voice over comes on as the video footage shows this “cute man with the big Popsicle” wooing other women.  Wooing them.  WOO-ING- THEM.  WOO-ING….(how rude…I thought he was a faithful loyal man bc aren’t they all?) and giving them these Sticky Buns.           {REALITY CHECK: I never call them ‘Sticky Buns’ I have always called them Cinnamon Rolls…proceed!}         Big Popsicle vs. Sticky Bun?!  I would have gone Sticky Bun any day!  Well as we continue watching I see him hand this girl a Sticky Bun and her proceed to eat it.  Then news footage of her being poisoned.  “Cute man” totally then went MIA.  Hmmm….Blizzy proceeds to tell me that he is a con man who kills his victims with Sticky Buns (say what?!) and that I needed to gather all my things and leave immediately!  We began heading back to my room….

Down the stairs and through the hallway, then there “cute man” was sitting all smug like on the couch outside my room with a big grin on his face.  “I’ve been waiting for you” (then he saw Blizzy and we knew it was too late).  “Oh honey buns (doh! I totally hope he doesn’t think I knew about the Sticky Bun incidents!) I need to go get freshened up before our date tonight!”  Cute man/con man says, “That’s fine but you will need a key…” Blizzy pulls a generic one out and we get in the door to see all of my everything ransacked!  He stole my credit cards, my ID, my money…etc….but I still had my life.  When I looked up, he was gone.

I couldn’t understand it.  I had been deceived, lied to, and I didn’t even know his name!  How naive could one be, yet he spared me my life.  I woke up laughing, but very confused.  I remember he had a huge you know…Popsicle…why remember those details?  Why so vivid…?  Upon processing it, I have come to the conclusion that this is an inner reflection of a spiritual battle that I have been facing OR someone put some “additives” in my pizza!  I allow the evil one to take advantage of my vulnerabilities, the openings, my cracks and am I so naive to think that I am invincible against these attacks?  Yet every time, I am still alive and actually feeling stronger even though I am weak.  I recognize and acknowledge these cracks and work hard to patch them and build positively upon them; however when these cracks are allowed to become as a dilapidated as the foundation of a house, the house starts to fall apart little by little.  These cracks will always be there but we must always work to patch them as permanent as we are allowed and able to and keep our house intact.  That is at least what I have decided, for whatever that is worth.

Workout…

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Yesterday after work I had some time of solidarity at my favorite place, the Chapel.  I got out of work late so I decided to spend sometime in quiet and I actually passed out for about a half of an hour.  It was a very nice power nap to get me thru the rest of my day.

Well upon leaving the Chapel I went home and got my workout gear on and ventured to the Y.  Let me tell you, I love people watching.  It also cracks me up that the people who are the socialites of the workout arena are skinny, tan, usually 18-35 years old or so, and they have a body that is not conducive to actually working out.

 

Yes...the skinny tramps look like this! Sigh and for the rest of us who have a curvy womanly body...

 

Now, this is merely an observation.  There are groups that congregate in the specific classes, around the machines, and at certain times of the day.  There are grunters, moaners and girls that have full-blown fake nails, make up, and hair all done up just to sweat a little.  It also makes me laugh at the little girls walking in wearing next to nothing but just a simply “cutsie” workout bra and spandex!  OK, I have a nice body but I am a curvy woman.  I could never wear that and feel comfortable at the gym.  First off, you would have to double those bras up so the “twins” aren’t banging me in the face (now I need no black eyes!) and second off it is a privilege…..PRIVILEGE PEOPLE….to wear spandex!  I am sorry ladies but full coverage granny panties that bunch when you run do NOT look so attractive in spandex and I totally respect that.  So no spandex for this girl!  Normally I am the kid wearing the big t-shirts and shorts that actually cover the bum up.  I don’t look like I am picking up on any of the gym rat boys who are trying to get swoll for Spring Break.

So everyone I am sure has heard of Jersey Shore, right?  I am totally not even kidding you these girls looked like Snookie!

Personally....I would take the pizza!

Truly.  Not joking.  She looked exactly like her but in workout gear.  Skinny yoga pants, a clueless gaze, and was working on who knows what?!  Why is it necessary to look like this when working out but, to draw the wrong kind of attention and lose your cookies!  Sorry…just kind of annoys me.

I made the mistake in college once wearing a shirt I bought to support my roommate whom played Rugby.  See I was the flying Cheerleader and she was the Rugby extraordinaire!  I loved wearing those shirts out of support but, not to the gym!  The one day I got hit on by a fellow female student (I was wearing my Rugby shirt) and I am pretty sure that there was a “minor” assumption made!  HA.  Flattering, but sorry I don’t swing that way!  Needless to say, I thought twice before grabbing a random t-shirt to workout in…sigh.

I kind of get weirded out when people not only bring attention to themselves via the outfit chosen to work out in, but also at grunting or making animatistic loud noises!!  Is that really necessary???   REAAHHH-OOHHH-AHHH!  CLINK-CLINK-CLINK. SIGH. MAN…

I hope this evening I can zone out, not get distracted by Snookie and her Jersey Shore crew and make some progress training for this Mini Marathon that I am running in May!  Here goes another training session for me…

I will say this about yesterday, I laughed so incredibly hard.  I loved like I had never loved before, and forgot about the “dead weight” in my life.  Yesterday I was in the best of moods.  No idea why but I will take what I can get!  Today was very good over all now, we will see what this evening has in store!  🙂

Happy trails,

The CatMan