“Are you suckin’ or spoonin’ it?” (true story)

Yesterday, Mr. Y and I went on a 2:30pm run to Walmart.  How tragic that it just so happened to be during Happy Hour: 1/2 price drinks/shakes!  Well after we had met our “work obligations” we chanced it and bought 2 Caramel Apple Shakes.  OH SO GOOD!  Well as we were driving to park so we could get a head start before going directly back to work Mr. Y asks “Are you suckin’ or spoonin’ it?”.  I lost it.  LITERALLY lost it.  He looked at me because he was so confused.  I told him to rethink what he had just said.  Now, I can attest that he was innocently referring to whether I was using my straw or using my spoon to demolish the drink in a timely fashion.

You see this happens to Mr. Y all of the time.  He is one of the most hilarious people I have met to date, whether he means to be or not.  I would give you his age, but what’s in a number?  Nothing.  It’s in how young you feel and all in who you hang with….obviously that is why he hangs with me!  🙂  We get into all sorts of problems all the time!  It is pretty fun though.

There was one time when I was first shadowing Mr. Y that we had a sales call down in Lexington Ky.  It was right after Thanksgiving and it was just getting rainy and cold.  It was not so nice weather.  Well, when Mr. Y came to pick me up the car smelled clean!  “Did you clean your car just for me??”    “Uh no….Drain-O spilled and bleached out my floorboard and it was horrible to clean up!”     “Oh….hey why do you have a band-aid on your face?”   “I sneezed and rubbed my eye too hard.  I gave myself a black eye!  It looked so bad I had to put a band-aid on it.  I am thinking about blaming the grandkids…what do you think?”   “Well, I wouldn’t tell him you sneezed and gave it to yourself!  You have to make something up…”  (I am all about being honest but, when you are first meeting someone for a sales call you don’t share “associate code” items such as this!)  “Mrs. Y got me a new suit yesterday.  She insisted!”   “That was awful nice!  Well you look dapper despite the obvious!”

We were almost there and we needed gas, so we stopped at a gas station close and filled up.  It was at this point I turned around and noticed Mr. Y’s new suite coat was in the remnants of the Drain-O and it was ruined!!  There were tiger stripes all over it from where the bleach had just eaten thru it.  “OH NO!  What am I going to do!  I can’t go in there without a coat!  Oh man…”   “Well you can’t wear that!  You will ruin your shirt and skin!”   “Do I have to make a story up for that one too?”   “No you know what?  Just let your eye speak for itself and I am sure that he won’t say anything to you about your coat after your eye….”   MIND YOU, this happened all before this BIG sales meeting we had…sigh.  Never a dull moment, I told you.

We get into this sales meeting finally (Mr. Y has no suit coat on and it is freezing), and of course the gentleman asked about the black eye first.  Whew!  We were safe.  Nothing about the suit coat….We were getting ready to head out and that’s when it all went down…”Where’s your coat?  It’s cold don’t you know!”   “Well…..funny story about that one too…..maybe for another day….”  We scurried out of there like field mice running from an owl!  It was embarrassing!  Humorous and a good call none the less.

We always have such fun when we are out and about on sales calls.  We definitely are going to have a blast this next week when we go to Florida!!  🙂

WHOO! I think this picture literally sums it all up! Go Guy in Business Suit Running!

Disclaimer:  The Y in “Mr. Y” may or may not be his letter of his last name.  Variables x, y, z dictate or indicate a “mysterious feel about the person without really divulging his/her real name”.   See I didn’t break and privacy laws….

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Keep the Peter out of the Payroll

I just got out of a meeting with the honorary Herb Brautzsch.  This is my only disclaimer: Herb and I use raw tell it like it is language and I apologize if it offends you.  ON THAT NOTE:  Oh my that man never ceases to amaze me of the topics to which we talk about…today it was about all the women he had never been with.  I should say nothing really surprises me anymore at the craziness of topics.  ………Really?  Really Herbert? Don’t call me Herbert!  My mom used to call me that when I was in trouble!  FINE……..  This was a moment I definitely called him Herbert.  We were laughing until we cried at this ridiculousness!  We go from talking about cheap screws (which I asked him if he was referring to a whore–i told you it was rough language) and he said “she might have been a cheap screw but she was sure a nice girl” as he just wells up again with tears.

He was talking to me about a hair dresser that he never slept with then she got married, another gal Francie Weathers (yes he even remembered her name) to whom back when he was about 17 or 18 he bumped lips and made her bleed and he said he couldn’t get into her pants after that!?  Then, he said for whatever reason or another he just never did.  Like never sleeping with any of the ladies that worked for him.  That’s where his policy of “Keep the Peter out of the Payroll” comes in…Didn’t know why or what?  Just didn’t do it.  I can relate oddly enough.

He told me that he was the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I couldn’t disagree but only laugh and ask why….He told me that he had prepared me for things of the future and one day I would thank him.  Little did he realize that his “Thank you card” was in the mail  🙂

He also told me there was something provocative (not to be confused with being provocative…girls that wear turtle necks are not to be considered provocative these days…) about me.  Like he could really discuss anything with me and I not be offended and just fire right back.  OK….don’t know what that means but, can’t argue.  Personally, I think he thrives on this sort of interaction.  Keeps him moving and his soul on fire.  Keeps his spirits up and keeps him coming back for more!

Got to love words of wisdom from a 95-year-old man.

Good Ole Herb