Day…..4.

Not to complain…but TODAY marks day 4 with no clear voice.  I never thought the irony would exist!  The person that talks the most has no voice!  Oh the agony….ha not really just no voice.  I feel great.

I went to a seminar on Saturday that was utterly so uplifting to my soul and spirit.  I learned a lot about myself in regards to a deeper sense.  Ever just have one of those moments where you just know that you’re supposed to be there?  That was definitely one of those!

I met a lady named J.J.  It was a lovely conversation, lovely material and really got me thinking.  After it, the light bulb went off!  I forgot to let the dog out!  Oh man, this was not good.  As I remembered halfway thru the seminar, it was all I could focus on!  Ahh was the dog going to relieve himself on my new rug?  Or would he wait?  I was terrified!  It’s not like I can call the dog to see what he is doing or HOW he was doing…sigh.  My heart rate started rising, sweat started to form on my top lip, and I was breathing quite heavy….what was I going to do?

Well, I realized at this point that there was only about an hour left so I tried to just pay attention to the speaker.  5 min later….this was my internal dialogue…..”Oh gosh, it will take me 25 minutes to get home and if I leave in the next half hour then that will leave me enough time to be there to let him out.  But what do I do if he lets lose on my new carpet…ugh..I don’t like cleaning!  Lordy, well maybe I could duck out early…but if I do, how soon is too soon without being rude?  Oh I just don’t know what to do…”  Well finally I just stopped abruptly stood up (I don’t even want to fathom what the speaker thought) and just walked out.  At this point I was a one track mind with a mission of saving my carpet from urine!

I scurried out the door looking like a mad woman.  Ran to my car, mind you it’s icy out and I was at risk of falling.  I skidded across the ice and fell flat on my butt.  Thank goodness I have padding, so I bounced back up and was soon on my way.  Thru the streets, around the corner I flew.  I wrote a song to explain the rest!

(Sung to the tune of “Jingle bells”)  http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/elf/jinglebells.htm

Maestro please!

Driving on the streets, in a Bug so nice and sweet, Oh speeding thru the lights, crying all the way (bah, ha, ha!).

Beeps and honks blare loud, as I run 3 red lights, oh this really isn’t fun, trying to beat the pee!

OHHH….I forgot, I forgot, I forgot the dog!  Oh what  a stress, if he messed my carpets up tonight, OHHH….I forgot, I forgot, I forgot the dog!  Oh what a stress, and a mess if that dog goes in the house!

Sirens from behind, sliding on the ice, almost home for sure, and still nothing to suffice!  Finally pulling in, all hell behind me, and  as I bust thru the door I see that pub all sad and I….

OHHH…I forgot, I forgot, I forgot the dog!  Oh what a stress, if he messed my carpets up tonight, OHHH….I forgot, I forgot, I forgot the dog!  Oh what a stress, and a mess if that dog goes in the house!

So I walked in the door, just in the nick of time, as that little pub dashed out, to mark it on the line!  He looked with a big sigh, as he finished up his thing, he turned around and ran inside because it’s very cold…

OHHH…I forgot, I forgot, I forgot the dog!  Oh what a stress, if he messed my carpets up tonight, OHHH….I forgot, I forgot, I forgot the dog!  Oh what a stress, and a mess if that dog goes in the house!

All in all, things were taken care of and the dog didn’t relieve himself on my rug.  🙂  So LG, life’s good!

CatMan

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Derek the Dog…bark bark!

Yesterday, I came across a dog.  His name was Derek the Dog.  It was pretty comical seeing that I am so little and he is so not.  You see, when I met this dog, he was out on the prowl.  Looking for a kill.  He was just freshly on the market looking for a thrill…I thought otherwise though.

Upon talking to him further, I realized there was more to him then met the eye (that reference was for all of you Transformers fans out there!).  He might have seemed very hairy, mean, and over protective at times but, I must say he had a very soft side to him.  At first, I must divulge, I was frankly not impressed.

It all started when I went out to lunch.  I was by myself.  I sometimes like going out sitting and observing others at the risk of me looking like a creep…but you know what?  I figure things out quickly this way.  Well anyways…I came across a dog.  On the outside this dog was very attractive.  Dark hair, mysterious eyes…he was just abnormally big!  He kind of came off cold and mean too.  He was sniffing hind ends….looking for the next subtle victim of his “love spell”…usually when someone comes off tough, it’s a cover up for pain and suffering.

So I sat there.  Minding my business, when I noticed he was relieving himself on the fire hydrant next to me.  EWWW…..there had to be better places to relieve yourself!  I continued to look down and kept on eating.  Then, I looked up and he was asking if he could sit with me!  (First off, I don’t like to be messed with when I have “me” time!)  I looked at him head to toe with the stink eye….and decided it was OK for him to pop a squat.

Derek the Dog vs. The CatMan

Surprisingly we really hit it off.  He was a dog of few words…unlike those little yappy ones who are the “pretty boys” of the crew.  This one was different.  Despite his outward appearance, he was very sweet and kind on the inside.  You could definitely tell he had something on his mind.  I inquired further…”…do you have a girlfriend or companion?” (OK…note this is where it gets interesting!) “…I did have a girlfriend but, now we are no more…we fought a lot and it was not what I wanted.  I broke it off after 1 year, 2 days, 15 hours, and 17.5 minutes. (WHO COUNTS THAT?  Seriously?) “….well what happened?  Do you want to talk?”  Then the flood gates opened….

“We were “in love” for a year.  She was beautiful with her blue eyes.  She was a little petite thing (could be interchangeable for YAPPY if you asked me!!)…well we met on the street.  I was out and about trying to find the right one to have a life with…yes I was trying to find a girl to settle down with!  Is that hard to believe?  AND as soon as I set my paws on her I knew I had to have her!  Well for the most part it was great but then it wasn’t at times….and when we fought…we fought long and hard.  It was brutal.  But we always could make up….” (This is where he started blubbering like an idiot!  Although I can’t say that I didn’t feel sorry for him!)  “…this last time…we just couldn’t.  It didn’t feel like love anymore.  So I ended it.”

At this point, I gave the dog a kind look and hug.  Man that’s got to be rough.  I definitely don’t know what that is like…psh….because I am CatMan of course…but, I did know others who had situations like it.  I guess my only piece of advice I could think of was to tell him to stay away, far-far away from those yappy dogs!  He has to follow his heart, and if the match is no longer right then he must do what’s right for him.  It seems that he has done the right thing.  It is hard, but these friends of mine that went thru this told me that the support of good friends gets you thru!

So I decided to set all biases aside and be a friend.  Grrr….you know how hard it is to support a dog like that??   Sigh…as a friend now, I will love and support him…so therefore I suck it up.

“People who love each other fully and truly are the happiest people in the world. They may have little, they may have nothing, but they are happy people. Everything depends on how we love one another.” -Mother Teresa

Run so far away….

So a girlfriend of mine was telling me about her day.  She told me how excited that she made it thru her long run!  This long run was no easy task!  There were lots of hills, drunk guys chasing her, and a deer that wanted her as well.  It was treacherous to say the least!

In Washington D.C., I was informed they don’t ever see deer but as of lately the deer population has heightened and invaded.  As she started on her run, she was moving at a swift pace.  Nothing can stop this gazelle!  Long strides, relaxed from her head to her toes…..this girl is throughly enjoying the run!

Well about 3 miles into it she passes a gentleman on the highway clearly drunk.  She avoids him like the plague; however he manages to try to stumble after her!  As she picks up the pace a little more she falls!  (GASP!)  The drunk man gets with in a few feet of her…hurt and bloodied she manages to dust herself off enough to move on!  She runs like the wind until she knows she is out of the crazy man’s reach!

Whoooo…..she’s safe.  She then proceed to press thru this long run of hers.  Over the hills and thru the woods, to grandmothers house she goes!  Not really but it sounded good to put that small detail in there.  Ups and downs.  The thing that gets her thru this part of the run is the fact that her ghetto booty is going to look nice and fine when she’s done.  🙂

Yeah thats right….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ImZTwYwCug

By the time she is done fantasizing about Sir-Mix-Alot….she realized a deer is coming at her pretty well head on!  EKKK!!!

AHHHHHH!

So she runs at light speed to get passed this deer that is now running at her full speed ahead!  She looks to the right, fakes to the left and just narrowly misses the deer by about 6 inches!  DANG….what a run this has been thus far and as she is almost finished….chug-uh, chug-uh, chug-uh…..chooo chooo!  Keep going little engine!!

As she heads up to her front door step, bloodied and pride damaged, she can finally breathe knowing that there is nothing finally chasing her.  She is safe and sound.  Just as she reaches for the handle of her door she hears this growling at the door….OH NO…..NEIGHBORS DOG! AHHHHH!

Don't underestimate the meanness of this dog...it could get ugly!

Lesson:  Never run outside anywhere in D.C.  Just go to a facility indoors and save yourself the trouble and pain.  Don’t become scarred for life because a drunk homeless dude, a deer and your neighbor’s dog want you!

xoxo,

CatMan