52-56: Monday and the Broken Vase

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Sorry it has been a while.  There has been a lot going on in my world.  I am coming to know just how beautiful imperfection is.  I have been releasing the skeletons from my closet in hopes to cleanse my heart and soul of the negative and such I don’t need.  I don’t desire to be held back or down any more.

For the record:  Monday-0 and CatMan-3.  I stopped myself from a major melt down this morning over a work project that I had to redo and it was frustrating.  I also broke my power cord for my computer to which I also had good luck there spending only $9 for a piece rather than $80 for the whole cord.  And I got a message across, pissed some people off, and I didn’t stress out about it.  WHOHOO!  I win x’s 3!

I have admitted to myself a few hard harsh facts.  Those will remain in private.  My heart over all feels better.   Yet, I still keep pressing on!  Even though we might feel like a broken vase, we can be repurposed and turn out just beautiful!  Take a look at what I mean: http://fab.com/sale/17991/?navEmail=1&utm_source=Triggermail&utm_medium=email&utm_term=monday_daily_sale_list&utm_campaign=daily_sales_mailer&email_user=catie.manning%40yahoo.com

I allowed myself to feel like a broken vase until I realized “oh wait CatMan, you can pick yourself up and make yourself into something great!  Let’s get creative!”  Clearly, we are given several chances to be created into something beautiful. That is the power of forgiveness.  I am working through that right now.  So like this broken vase, I too have been put back together and I too can still feel beautiful even though I have been broken a few times.  God is the glue that keeps putting me back in such a way that is still usable to Him and presentable to society. He does this for each of us as He loves us dearly.  If He didn’t, I would still feel broken and a mess.

Love allows us to heal.  Love allows the holes to be filled in with seeds of hope and desire to be better than what we are right at this very moment.  Love makes everything beautiful possible even if we are just broken vases!

Have a great Monday!
CatMan

PS Mars and her lemon cake are expecting a baby!  Life is sweet!

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Day 51: Prime Number

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“Love others as God has loved you. Ask God to grant you the grace and goodness to keep no record of the wrongs done to you.” (as posted from my cheer coach)

I think this is very fitting for today as last night I totally got thrown a curve ball.  An ex-bf that hurt me so much contacted me last night.  It really took me by surprise.  I had this inkling in the morning that something might happen, yet I just forgot about it.  You see, 2 years ago yesterday was the date we started dating.  Interesting timing, right?  This was Nomad and he didn’t connect the dots there.  It was a crazy time but there was a lot of joy there too.  Needless to say we hadn’t talked since New Years and it was nice hearing from him.  I forgave him for all he had done to me.  I also forgave him for breaking up with me on Valentine’s Day in the coward fashion he did.  I am in a better place.

It was random and actually made me very happy.  Even though I was taken back by it, I have just recognized that he and I will always be better served as friends.  I am over the hurt and I actually have him to thank as I can help and relate with other friends going through the similar.  It is a hard thing to realize, yet I am at complete peace.  I feel like that is exactly what I needed to test it too.  He seems to be doing the same ole same ole, but his heart is softer.  For that fact, I continue to pray for him.

I titled this post “Prime Number” as I think this is the prime concept needed in beginning to love a person.  As humans, we hurt ourselves, beat ourselves up, and project that on others which allows them to feel just as bad as we do.  We really as a whole need to work on that.  Once you see that it was nothing so personal and it was just a reflection of hurt in their own life, it makes it easier to forgive them.  I have forgiven him…I pray to forget that hurt and build a stronger foundation.  This foundation will then be set upon mutual respect and love.  Only then will that friendship, relationship, etc grow in goodness.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”