The Woman I Desire to Be

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“When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”

~Venerable Fulton J. Sheen

I came across this very quote a day or two ago on Facebook.  One of my contacts had this posted and it really go me thinking about woman and their purpose with in the realm of this world.  I mean, your day-to-day accommodations, vocations, and everything to which fulfills the beautiful role of being a woman.  There is a lot more to it than you might think!

Something I personally have struggled with is finding my way into discovering what it means to be a real woman.  Not a girl…but a woman.  Not just any woman either.  I want to find my identity as a woman of God.  I will be the first to tell you that I have been on a wily road prior to this investigation. Do I really have what it takes to grow up and be the woman who I know I am being called to be?  I lacked confidence.  I lacked esteem.  Because of my lack of understanding, my heart lacked a desire to change.  Hell, I was doing just fine with where I was at and with what I was doing….but was I really doing as fine as I thought?  I didn’t want to change for a long while because it seemed forced or rather too contrived.  If the CatMan was going to change, then it was most definitely going to be because I wanted to do so.

Recently, I was told and came across many individuals (randomly of course) speaking to me as “You will attract a certain person or type of person”.  This would make sense.  So if I applied that to the long list of ex-s that I have, I am giving off something that is attracting these pathetic jerks who didn’t have a clue what it meant to be the kind of man I deserve!   They are selfish ultimately.  They don’t get it and haven’t a clue either.  I think that I am a compassionate person to an extent that I have no boundaries.  I want to be there and help whomever and wherever needed.  I could also say compassionate to a fault.  I realized a few life lessons through my 12+ years of dating to which makes me finally desire to take the leap and make the necessary changes.  The next time I visit the grocery, I am not leaving with a bunch of bad apples.  I will be shopping for exactly what I came for…

1.  You have to love and fully accept yourself.  Anyone ever watch Silver Lining Playbook?  Tiffany, Jennifer Lawrence’s character, has a past and yet that is not who she is when she meets Bradley Cooper’s character.  She fully accepts that she was a slut, but that is apart of her.  She loves that it’s apart of her.  She understands that was a place she went and she is making a change.  Accepting the good parts of yourself and the bad parts will help you learn and acclimate to what you desire to be.  For me personally, I can accept that crazy road I ventured on as that is not me today.  It is however a part of me and what made me realize even more so my need for God in my life.  I have accepted my sins happen.  I am human.  I am doomed to fall and that my friends is written in my very DNA.  That helix is laced with my many flaws and short comings.  And hey, guess what?  God knows this and He loves me anyways!

2.  If you attract assholes, then you are probably being an asshole.  This one took me a while to figure out.  I didn’t really get how my decisions and shortcomings led me to only date assholes.  A long list of assholes at that!  You see, I had low self-esteem  and confidence in myself.  I thought that I “needed” what these men could offer.  Well for reflection sake, not really sure I needed ANY of what they had to offer except for a listening ear!  I was being a complete asshole to myself first and foremost.  I was in return being an asshole to those around me because we all know that it is the natural progression of things.  Then, I was attracting like-minded assholes that were in worse shape than me!  The ones who stuck out this phase, ended up knowing that was just a phase and not what I ultimately was going for which I am pretty grateful.  I have 5 very close friends and a big family to which loves me despite everything.

3.  You are surrounded by living examples each and everyday, sometimes you just need to open your eyes!  OK.  For the longest time, I have taken those around me for granted.  My mom and I for example used to butt heads more than anyone I know!  It was a mutual lack of understanding for where one another was at in life.  Now looking back at it, it just was this tremulous period for the both of us.  I was immature.  I was going through whatever teenagers/young adults go through.  It took me until recently, living with my grandma, to understand my mom better.  I lived with my grandma for just over a year and my mom is so much like her mom it’s not even funny.  My mom of course is in a different period in her life than her mother, but now I have been given another example of a true woman.  My mom is a control freak.  She likes to think she has more control than she does and because of that it causes conflict.  My grandma used to be the same way.  My mom has gotten a lot better over the years as far as just letting go of the fact that her adult children are going to make their decisions and she has little input in the way they live their life.  My mom will subtly present her opinion in a tactful manner but ultimately we were raised to be individuals.  Grandma prays.  Right now she is toward the later part of her life and she spends good and earnest time praying.  She has a peace about her.  She no longer worries about what her children are doing nor does she let that bother her.  Her control and worry has been given up to God.   Both woman are examples of the sort of woman I desire to become.  Here they are right in front of me!  Both go to church, say their prayers, make time to teach and be there for their families.  They spend time feeding, clothing, and running children’s rear ends around town….they did this out of love for all of us.  That is amazing.

4. Make a grocery list and don’t lose sight until you get everything you set out to get!  I likened my “ex list” a little like going to the grocery.  I am making too many trips to the grocery to buy things I don’t need (AKA DRAMA), want (a “man” who “cares” about you HA!), and over all I am falling short!  I am paying WAY TOO MUCH for bad unnecessary goods!  So I am making a grocery list accordingly and not taking my eyes off of it until I get what I set out to have.  I deserve it.  I am not going to settle for anything less this time.  I deserve the best you know…

The person I desire to become is a woman who is virtuous.  She is a well-rounded, thoughtful, and caring individual who puts others needs first.  She doesn’t limit God to working through her to fulfill her very purpose of being created.  She possesses true compassion, patience, and doesn’t worry about what she lacks.  She prays regularly.  She dresses modestly.  She is confident in who she is as a woman of God.  She stands firm in her beliefs.  She loves wholeheartedly despite outcome or without expectation.  She is honest and truthful.  She possess integrity.  She has humility and knows she is not perfect.  She has her own style and is confident in wearing it.  She equally knows she will never stop trying to be a better person despite her flaws.  She will persevere and carry what cross she is being asked to carry without question.  She is slow to anger and quick to forgive.  She is loyal, faithful, and devout always.

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I may not be that woman today…but I will never stop moving forward.  Maybe one day I will get there and maybe one day I won’t.  Regardless, I will never stop desiring to be that woman.  Life is a journey you know…

A girl can dream can’t she? 😉
CatMan

 

Coffee with a Spoonful of Humor

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Have you ever had one of those mornings where everything you thought was going to happen, didn’t?  Let me explain. It is like where you get something in your head and it is WAY worse than you think it’s going to be…you build this fear up in your noggin about this and about that for what?  FOR NOTHING.

Well this morning I figured was going to be slammed with obligations of work, requests from persons needing answers right away, and that I was going to have a to-do-list the size of me!  For those of you who don’t know, I am all of 4′ 8″. My personality is as strong and robust as a 7″ male who may or may not be a body builder.  Anyways, that most definitely was not the case this morning.  This morning (knock on wood) has been reflective and relaxing.  It has been one where I have been able to pace myself and accomplish what is needed with little strain mentally or physically.

This morning, I woke up at 6am; however, I didn’t get out of bed until 6:45am.  I took a longer shower taking time to shave my legs, wash my hair, and cover up the blemishes.  I was completely ready by 7:25am and then I decided to dump my mother’s hot tea everywhere.  It took me a few minutes to clean that sticky mess up.  10 minutes later we were off to school!  I was astounded that it took me 40 minutes to complete all of that and then it was off to drop my sister off at school (who takes after me in the mornings with unheard alarms, puffy eyes, and ouch demeanor until fully able to accept she has to be awake).  Heck I even had first round of coffee in hand!  We were cordial to each other.  She made it to school on time and her hair looked great.  Despite her tardiness and rough start, she had hair curled and make-up completed.  Check and check!  Not exactly what I though was going to be the outcome of such a rough start.

As I pull in to work, I sit there for a small moment.  I thought let’s pull ourselves together there CatMan and let’s make this a good day!  As I went to lift my coffee thermos out of my cup holder, the cup slammed down spraying coffee everywhere! It seems that I might be in a bit of a war with traveling liquids today!  I am sure that those surrounding me could hear the colorful vocabulary as the rough start was just topped with a big ol’ cherry!

I scurried into work and tried to clean myself up.  A co-worker cleaned my jacket so I could run out and clean my new car off.  What a stickier mess than before!  In thinking that I had cleaned all of it off I realized my outfit had spots and my tan seats now had spots as well.  Dang!  It was just bound to be one of those days!

Well everything ended up alright despite the hilarity of my morning.  Mind you all of this excitement happened prior to 8am.  Lovely isn’t it?

Sister pretty and to school on time, 2 drinks spilled, a trip to the dry cleaner later…it turned out to be a pretty good day over all.  I could laugh at the first part because WHO DOES THAT!?  CATMAN DOES!  Oh well….I could think of much worse things to happen…but let’s not go there!

Klinky and Klutzy
CatMan

Love is Patient

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So it has been a while since I have been able to share my One Word Challenge.  I assure you that doesn’t go without many lessons in between.  I have been learning so much about myself and about others.  I have been learning about loving interactions as well as what love truly mean.  Love is not always a lovey-dovey feeling where you are constantly wanting to make-out with the person.  Love is not always liking the person either.  Love has its share of hardships and struggles, but love is always a choice.

There are many times to which I have felt I cannot truly love a person because they have hurt me so greatly.  Well the fact of the matter is, I too have hurt myself greatly.  It is a two way street and if I was truly going to hold myself accountable for something I did, not the other party, then I need to own up to it.  Honesty.  A big dose of honesty.  I have realized though in being honest with myself it makes everything clearer in a seemingly cloudy situation.  Relationships you see can be quite messy if you allow them to be.

Love is pretty limitless and straight forward you see.  It is our misconception to what WE think love is that makes it messy.  Can we actually conceptualize love?  I think we can start this journey by first and foremost choosing to love.  It is a paradox.  By choosing something we don’t fully understand–it seems a bit absurd.  We know what it takes to love by the examples set by those who have gone before us.  Take for an instant Jesus.  This man died for me.  If you look at the events surrounding His life, He set an example of complete and total love.  Look at who His best friends were.  They were sinners like you and I.  They were those who were cast aside, deemed unworthy of normal folks, and most of all looked down upon.  Sinners that didn’t deserve the attention of the others.  He surrounded those individuals with love.  You see, when it comes down to it, we are ALL sinners.  It is in our human nature.  We are always going to hurt ourselves and others.  Always.  So what do we do to start this journey of love?

1. Pray.  Pray fervently.  Learn who God is.  Learn who you are in God.  That is where you will really learn to grow in focus and in purpose.  Here too is where you will learn about your vocation (your duty and calling in this life).

2. Learn to integrate God into every decision you make.  If it is not out of love for God, rethink your decision.  This is where we give up our selfish ways.  We surrender our wants and desires for God’s Will for us.  Let go of anything holding us back.  Remember WWJD bracelets?  A constant reminder of our actions?  This is a really hard step.  It is extremely hard to fight against selfishness as it is written in our human DNA.

3. Talk to God about those who have hurt you.  Learn to love through forgiveness.  As you forgive others, God will forgive you.  That is an important part to this puzzle.  This becomes easier as you will grow in understanding toward others through forgiveness.  I have learned in this step a lot of times the person hurting is a misdirection their hurt on to you.  For right, wrong, or the other reason–we should try to see that and love them despite their hurtful actions.

4. Be honest with yourself.  If you know you are struggling with something….something embarrassing.  Something that you could never tell a soul about or you might just die.  Well guess what?  God already knows what you did.  It takes something of true humility to be completely honest with yourself and lay it all out there.  It takes true humility to own up and make up for what you have done.  It changes you.  It simplifies your decisions.  It makes things more clear.

It takes a lot of love.  I have chosen to love without placing limits on myself.  I have chosen to never hold back my love for anyone.  Love puts others needs before our own needs.  That one is a really hard one.  I will never stop witnessing to the love that God shows me each day….or trying to witness to that love.  I will never stop trying my hardest to demonstrate that same love to others.  I am not going to lie though and tell you I have mastered it because I am far from perfect.  It is hard being patient with my 14-year-old brother when he is being a 14-year-old annoying boy.  It is hard for me to love my sister when she is being dramatic about the rules my parents are placing when she can’t use my mom’s phone after 10pm.  It is hard to love friends who cannot tell you to your face they are moving and let you find out via Facebook.  It is so hard not yelling, screaming, keeping it all in perspective when it seems like hell has broken loose.  It is hard loving those who drive you bonkers!

It is hard to love your siblings all the time, but I am asked to love them regardless.  It is hard loving your coworkers when they purposely push your buttons just to see how far they can push until you break.  Love doesn’t break.  Love stays cool and keeps it in perspective.  Love overlooks all of the petty small things.  Love looks deep into the heart of the individual and connects continually.  Love makes all things possible.

Equally, love is patient seems to be a theme.  Love is patient, love is kind.  Love is being patient and kind with ourselves through the journey.  Love unites.  Love brings us out of our misery and what a beautiful blessing when we feel that love radiate from our soul.  What a beautiful notion to love all those who come in contact with whether that is an everyday occurrence, once a year thing or whatever it may be.  Love doesn’t mean you won’t get upset or angry.  Love doesn’t mean that you are going to like or agree with a person’s believes.  Love just means you are going to be available to help them at any given point if that is what you are asked to do.

When it comes down to it, love helps us get through a lot of bull-poo-poo.  It helps us work through our own problems and it helps us appreciate each and every creature or being there is.  It helps us more than we can realize.

Let us be brave enough to choose to love through our pains, sorrows, and hardships.  Let us love non-judgmentally.  Let us love without wavering.  Let us love as God loves us.

Hugs and blessings,
CatMan

Knowing when to call it…Putting God First

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This morning, I found this article to which really got me thinking.  Conclusion: Money isn’t everything if you aren’t happy or satisfied with what you are doing.  Offensive lineman John Moffitt of the Denver Broncos has decided after season 3 to retire.  Money wasn’t everything to him to sacrifice his body for the name of the sport when the passion or happiness factor wasn’t there.  Smart man.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/offensive-lineman-john-moffitt-walks-away-nfl-says-211429267–nfl.html

How many times have you sucked it up and thought you were doing something that you WANTED to do?  How many times have you realized what you thought to have been a very rewarding decision and choice really wasn’t what you thought it was?  The fact is, life is really about making every decision count.  We make right decisions and we make wrong decision.  Life is about learning.  Life too must be lived ON purpose.  If you don’t live a life worth your passion, sanity, and one that is desired then maybe it is time to look at priorities.

I was always raised to put God first.  As human beings….as selfish human beings…we always try to do it our way.  We try to make everything about what we want to get out of life.  That is a little backwards in my opinion.  Life really isn’t about us anyways.  Sounds like a contradiction, ehh?  Let me explain.  God created each and everyone of us with a specific purpose and need in mind.  He didn’t intend for money to be everything.  He should be our everything.  It is through our relationship with God that we come to know the person He created.  We find out about our strengths and weaknesses and just how much we should be depending on God for our guidance in this journey.  We will not find our way by chasing what we think will make us happy.  We will never be fulfilled by putting ourselves first.

Here is a really amazing blog post by Joyce Meyer’s Ministries to which explains what I mean.  http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=putting_god_first_in_your_priorities

When you put God first, you start to notice things that maybe you wouldn’t have even glanced or thought twice about.  Take for an instance, walking around.  Have you seen the same street bum begging on the corner?  Have you ever really thought about why this individual is there?  Or what their story is?  Or do you consider yourself an elite individual with your clique of friends only.  You keep a tight reign and no one else can be let in to the “inner circle”.  News flash…there is always someone that is feeling left out.  Have you noticed that person lately?  Have you taken into consideration their feelings?  Have you decided to do anything about it?

When you put God first, you realize that He loves each and everyone of us as though we are the only person that existed.  He never abandons us and many times falls quiet as to test us.  When you feel that He is the furthest away–He is simply right around the corner.  I think for me, one of the hardest things to realize is that Jesus is in every single person.  He is!  Have you looked deeply into a strangers eyes?  Have you ever just felt this calm love?  Or maybe not….I guess that would be kind of weird, right?

I do feel that when I am having a rough day, He sends little angels to remind me “Hey goof…life is not all bad!  I am still right here walking this road with you!!”  It never seems to fail when things go array, I am always exactly where I need to be.  Whether it is for my benefit or the other persons.

When you put God first, perspective comes.  It is not right away or with ease to which that happens, but eventually it will come.  When you put God first, your passions meet obedience.  We are so narrow-minded as human beings as to think we can put limits on God’s love for us.  God can do anything.  TRULY.  God will guide us toward our passions and love if we simply ask and follow Him.  This is a hard thing for an extremely independent little woman to get through her thick skull.  I need to stop whining and just go bring everything directly to God.  God has always been there consistently.  Why do I always forget that?

This week has been a stressful week.  I put a lot of this stress on myself without realizing my load is nothing compared to others.  My cross to bear, is my cross.  I need to remember not to push my cross on others as I do not want to tip them.  I am grateful that others allow me to vent.  I am grateful that I have such a support group and cheerleading section making sure that I am still sane.  I am so grateful for the reminders God places in my life to which keeps me afloat.  But, I need to remember to know when to call it for my sake.  I needed to remember that God comes first and know to call it quits to me being selfish.  It’s God’s will not my own.  He will always provide as long as I am listening and obedient to Him.

Today I want to challenge each and every one of my readers, do you truly put God first?  Are you truly seeking Him and His plan for you in each decision?  Are you using your gifts to the best of your ability?  Just look at yourself reflectively today.  Be thankful for who you are today.  Be thankful for where you are at on your journey.  Be thankful for your support group.  Becoming is a hard long road of faith.  The end result will be well worth its while!

CatMan

A friend still loves you

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“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” – Elbert Hubbard

No matter what you do in your life (good or bad) a true friend will see you through it all. It is that sort of love and loyalty we all seek in this life.  Life is about relationships with God, our family, friends, casual relationships, strangers, etc.  Life is the culmination of interactions for better or worse and the events, emotions, and over all cultivated lesson over time.  That is what creates a life.

Sometimes it takes giving up our selfish dreams to see what God’s purpose is.  It is hard to think we don’t have control over our life in that regard, but that is where the mystery and excitement comes in to play!  Control is a hard concept for us humans.  God’s plan is much bigger than we could ever know!  The only thing we really have any sort of control over is our actions.

This week has been focused on saying yes to God in little ways.  That means examining my intentions of actions, intending to do good (not harm another) in these daily choices, and supporting God’s purpose for me here and now.  You might also say life is to the culmination of ‘yes’ over a person’s lifetime.  To me, I don’t think I could ever say I was 100% fulfilled by not at least trying to say yes in my actions at this point.

I believe that everyone was created with a purpose.  It is our life’s goal to figure that out before we die.  I don’t think it is as much in the “figuring it out” that is where our focus should be as much as it is in allowing God to reveal that purpose when we are ready.  Saying yes is taking the first step.

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God as He reveals His purpose for us also allows for relationships to exist for better or worse.  I must confess I believe I have the best set of friends a girl could ask for in my world.  They support, speak the truth to my face (even when it is hard), and are there for me through the ups and downs of life.  They are there to listen and love when I find it hard to do so with myself!  They, like God, never leave.  They are constant, consistent, and most of all I know they love me for me.  This is flaws and all.

A friend still loves you.  🙂

❤ CatMan

When one door opens…..

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Rejection.  GASP.  Yes, I have said it.  Rejection.  It seems like such a harsh word, right?  We have all experienced this from one time to another and maybe we see this as a negative.  I dare to challenge you to look at it in a positive light.

When we are rejected in a business proposition, a relationship, a meeting or a date, we might have feelings of insecurity.  We might feel offended, vulnerable…or otherwise hurt.  We shouldn’t be feeling any of the above really!  We should seek peace and solace that there is a GREATER reason that door has shut.  I struggled with this concept for a very long time.  I still struggle with it too.  It’s a human thing.

I think if you realized how many times in a day one could be rejected and how that rejection shapes the post actions of yourself you might just find that things are not as bad as they seem.  Rejection is apart of life after all.

In my experience, when I find a “love interest” that I am into, but their vibes scream otherwise it is hard to accept.  Why don’t they like me?  Why do I ALWAYS do this?  It must be me….why do I am I always doing this?  Well did you ever stop and think–It’s not you, it’s them…I have found this is usually the case.  They are the ones that are going through whatever it is they are and that is OK!  It is OK that they aren’t into you.  Would you really want someone who wasn’t 100% all about you anyways?  My answer is no.

It is our journey.  It is our path as much as it is theirs.  The person doing the rejecting may just not be there yet in his/her journey and it is better to learn to accept and love them regardless.  You don’t just stop being you because you have been rejected–you embrace yourself even more so.  Be you ever more!  Show others that rejection doesn’t own you!  Rejection sometimes provides the motivation to get from where you are to where you want to be!  Allow it to work positively and always keep looking up.  God will always provide something bigger and better if you allow it to happen.

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Love is Silent Listening

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I have found that I am a heavy analyst and a processor.  I like to talk things out.  I like to play detective and try to determine what is the most probable fate for my situation at hand.  I think I probably watched too much CSI and NCIS as a child, but I continue to still analyze and thoughtfully ponder none the less.

Sometimes the most loving action someone can take toward someone who likes to “talk it out” is really take no verbal action at all.  Sometimes all I need to do is spit whatever it is in my mind out with a logical sound ear at my disposal and it is that silence of listening intently to make sense of the babble coming out that is the most loving action a person could give.  Once it is out in the open, much like a puzzle, pieces of the puzzle are able to be placed together one by one and solutions become clear.  There are other ways to draw clarity as well but this is my go-to usually.  If you desire to work on your listening skills, this was a good little article I found, http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtolisten.htm.

Other ways to which I find helpful for processing would include journaling, coloring or painting, singing and randomly dancing around like a goose, going on a drive, spending time in silence, praying, or pondering whatever it is bothering me in my heart.  If I can talk it out with someone who is my most immediate relief in drawling clarity usually.  Another set of eyes on the matter is never really a bad idea I suppose as ultimately I am the one making the final decision on the matter at hand.

It is both a blessing and a burden to be an analytic type.  When it comes to situations though, I almost always have to have some sort of closure at hand before I can get them out of this mind of mine.  It is painful when I must hold something in my head and heart for too long before it finally goes.  Patience.  Prayer.  Life is so messy and intertwined sometimes.  I have grown in acceptance with knowing I cannot control or change certain situations and that actualization has helped in letting go and giving it back up in prayer.

I think why I like verbalizing what is going on is because then everything is out in the open. Free as a naked Jay bird!  Truth, honesty, lies, facts, love, hate, gossip, and emotions of all kinds come out and then once released–I can breathe.  The problem here is that by speaking what is in that dear little head of mine, it can be hurtful, overwhelming and more destructive than constructive.

To limit the amount of destruction, I have a few friends who have helped at one time or another just simply listening and giving me their heartfelt advice.  My parents have helped me significantly in this department too.  It can be hard as you want to be considerate of the time to which you ask a friend to help you process things.  They might be sleeping or working or doing something to which they aren’t able to listen right away.  God is always up and always there.  No curfew.  No sleep.  No limit to his time listening to you on account of something “popping up”.  I do my best to process and voice my concerns to God now-a-days.  That has seemingly been the one thing to which has helped me achieve peace.

When there is much overwhelming matters on my mind, I speak directly to God and tell Him all of my worries, stresses, situations, emotions–everything no matter what time it is.  That way nothing is said out of emotion and I can truly reflect.  No harm done to others and God can handle it.  Then, no one gets overwhelmed by my craziness and God already knows what is happening anyways.

Whether I talk it out with friends or God, I have come to the conclusion that love is silent listening.  Love is donating the time to helping a friend process and throw it all out there.  Love is giving support physical, mental, emotionally, spiritually and through prayers.

Just something to ponder….

❤ CatMan

True Humility

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So, in this poking and probing of the meaning of LOVE, I have come to understand actually in order to love you must be selfless.  This doesn’t mean to forget or not take care of yourself as much as it is to develop your gifts and talents for use. Not for your OWN use, but in that of such a way to make a difference in other’s lives.  This to a certain extent requires all prideful emotions and notions to be set aside.

First, we must recognize our pride in the many forms it takes and manifests in our very core.  Once we are able to define and acknowledge where these prideful actions occur or reside, it is only then to which we can begin to cut ties and learn how to live out humility.

Pride can be seen most apparently through self-flattery and vanity.  I am most definitely a victim of this.  I look and what I see is a glorified person.  I shouldn’t be desiring others to see me; however I should be desiring others to see God’s reflection and likeness through my body.  You see as humans we are the vehicle for delivering God’s messages, healing hand, compassion and actually embracing all of these wonderful emotions feelings in witnessing to the very Truth to which he has provided us.  This sounds way easier than it really is.

As humans, due to sin, we really make a mess out of our lives.  We are damaged, hurt, and sometimes we wallow in our misery.  When we wallow, we are just sitting hurt and doing no good for ourselves and others.  I was taught to let that go.  Let as much negative emotions go.  They only weigh you down.  A good friend brought something to my attention in regards to feeling sad or hurt.   He suggested redirecting our hurt into making someone else’s day brighter.  He also suggested always trying to see the good in others no matter what.  How many times a day do we sit there talking badly, gossiping, or commenting on how someone is doing a task or living their life?  That is not fair of us to do that as now we are judging them.  We do not know their circumstance.  In fact, we should be trying to see the good that is in them and setting an example.  This can be hard when this person is someone we don’t get along with well.  We are called to love them anyways.  Love our enemies, love our friends, family and strangers all alike.

It takes true humility to love.  It takes true and genuine humility to make strides forward and it takes a tremendous amount of courage to stand for the Truth as God proclaims it to be.  Once we are able to take our ego out of the picture, see that we are just the vessel to which God works and realize that is the only such way to discover a deeper love.

Letting go of my pride and hurt is hard at this point.  I am really pouring my energy into it so I can do myself and others a favor.  I know it is something I need to do.  The past is finally the past in my mind, soul, and body.  Here is to a new page in this chapter of discovering what it is to really love!  🙂

Here is a good resource for anyone seeking more information on humility.  I like the way it is broken out.  http://www.chastitysf.com/4humility.htm

Bring your awareness up to the plate and do something nice for someone else today!

❤ CatMan

Low Self-Esteem can kiss me REAR!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

Have you ever dealt with self-esteem issues?  Have you ever seen a friend struggling with them?  It is an awful plague of self against self!  It is where we are crippled and cannot see what other’s see.  Perception of ourselves is maybe not consistent with how others view us.  Above I posted a link to a very positive campaign.  I too wanted to point out that this is not and shouldn’t be directed at just women….men too have issues with this.

I got into a discussion this morning with a former classmate of mine regarding this campaign.  He was annoyed at the fact that Dove was pushing this beauty is “superficial” and inadvertently selling Dove’s products to uninformed consumers.  I think what he is really getting at is that people are ignorant to the fact that beauty is found on the inside of our bodies not our products.  Products are meant to enhance our self image.  Take it from someone who is going into the beauty industry, you have to help people feel good from all facades!

Part of my mission going into Cosmetology is not to push unrealistic image changes but to help all of my clients see their self-worth.  Yes, make them look better than what they came in looking like, and help them to understand that their perception of self is an important and not just surface deep.  Yet if we are not fully confident or satisfied in ourselves, how on earth will we succeed?

We must first look and recognize what goodness and gifts we possess.  We have to start somewhere.  A lot of people cannot deal directly with their inside first.  We have to start first with outward appearance as majority of our issues come from how other’s view us.  We are so cruel to ourselves. How we view ourselves is one of the main veins of why our self-esteem is the way it is as well as how much we acknowledge our God-given gifts and talents.  If we don’t know and appreciate what gifts we possess how can we use them to help boost the self-esteem?  Oh wait a tick……..how if we don’t love and appreciate yourself then how can you love and appreciate anyone else??

I have a friends who have made me do little self-esteem activities to which got me where I am today.  I would go through post-it-notes and post around my house all the positive qualities that I possessed.  I started first with appearance.  That is all I could see as I was really in bad shape.  Then started turning my focus to what was good on my inside.  They got me to see exactly what they see. It was a long road to seeing how badly I had been beating myself up.  It was really bad but once my friends helped shed some light, I came around to appreciate myself for who God made me.  I am forever grateful for them.

Today, I am dedicating my positive flow to self-esteem awareness and helping others see just how wonderful they are.  Look for the good in others, you never know what an impact you have!!!

Hugs and Kisses (and do yourself a favor and give yourself a big hug for me!)
❤ CatMan

The List of Love

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So I think I might owe my audience a few “missed days” of love…. 🙂

67: http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/03/13/stop-comparing-yourself-to-others-be-the-one/

68: “Love is a choice.  Love is a commitment”

69: Love doesn’t take away hurt, but it sure helps you work through it.  It makes things right that have been wronged.  It makes life wonderful again!

70:  “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ― Mother Teresa

71: “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” ― Mother Teresa

 72: God is LOVE!  We have a new Pope!  🙂