Knowing when to call it…Putting God First

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This morning, I found this article to which really got me thinking.  Conclusion: Money isn’t everything if you aren’t happy or satisfied with what you are doing.  Offensive lineman John Moffitt of the Denver Broncos has decided after season 3 to retire.  Money wasn’t everything to him to sacrifice his body for the name of the sport when the passion or happiness factor wasn’t there.  Smart man.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/offensive-lineman-john-moffitt-walks-away-nfl-says-211429267–nfl.html

How many times have you sucked it up and thought you were doing something that you WANTED to do?  How many times have you realized what you thought to have been a very rewarding decision and choice really wasn’t what you thought it was?  The fact is, life is really about making every decision count.  We make right decisions and we make wrong decision.  Life is about learning.  Life too must be lived ON purpose.  If you don’t live a life worth your passion, sanity, and one that is desired then maybe it is time to look at priorities.

I was always raised to put God first.  As human beings….as selfish human beings…we always try to do it our way.  We try to make everything about what we want to get out of life.  That is a little backwards in my opinion.  Life really isn’t about us anyways.  Sounds like a contradiction, ehh?  Let me explain.  God created each and everyone of us with a specific purpose and need in mind.  He didn’t intend for money to be everything.  He should be our everything.  It is through our relationship with God that we come to know the person He created.  We find out about our strengths and weaknesses and just how much we should be depending on God for our guidance in this journey.  We will not find our way by chasing what we think will make us happy.  We will never be fulfilled by putting ourselves first.

Here is a really amazing blog post by Joyce Meyer’s Ministries to which explains what I mean.  http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=putting_god_first_in_your_priorities

When you put God first, you start to notice things that maybe you wouldn’t have even glanced or thought twice about.  Take for an instance, walking around.  Have you seen the same street bum begging on the corner?  Have you ever really thought about why this individual is there?  Or what their story is?  Or do you consider yourself an elite individual with your clique of friends only.  You keep a tight reign and no one else can be let in to the “inner circle”.  News flash…there is always someone that is feeling left out.  Have you noticed that person lately?  Have you taken into consideration their feelings?  Have you decided to do anything about it?

When you put God first, you realize that He loves each and everyone of us as though we are the only person that existed.  He never abandons us and many times falls quiet as to test us.  When you feel that He is the furthest away–He is simply right around the corner.  I think for me, one of the hardest things to realize is that Jesus is in every single person.  He is!  Have you looked deeply into a strangers eyes?  Have you ever just felt this calm love?  Or maybe not….I guess that would be kind of weird, right?

I do feel that when I am having a rough day, He sends little angels to remind me “Hey goof…life is not all bad!  I am still right here walking this road with you!!”  It never seems to fail when things go array, I am always exactly where I need to be.  Whether it is for my benefit or the other persons.

When you put God first, perspective comes.  It is not right away or with ease to which that happens, but eventually it will come.  When you put God first, your passions meet obedience.  We are so narrow-minded as human beings as to think we can put limits on God’s love for us.  God can do anything.  TRULY.  God will guide us toward our passions and love if we simply ask and follow Him.  This is a hard thing for an extremely independent little woman to get through her thick skull.  I need to stop whining and just go bring everything directly to God.  God has always been there consistently.  Why do I always forget that?

This week has been a stressful week.  I put a lot of this stress on myself without realizing my load is nothing compared to others.  My cross to bear, is my cross.  I need to remember not to push my cross on others as I do not want to tip them.  I am grateful that others allow me to vent.  I am grateful that I have such a support group and cheerleading section making sure that I am still sane.  I am so grateful for the reminders God places in my life to which keeps me afloat.  But, I need to remember to know when to call it for my sake.  I needed to remember that God comes first and know to call it quits to me being selfish.  It’s God’s will not my own.  He will always provide as long as I am listening and obedient to Him.

Today I want to challenge each and every one of my readers, do you truly put God first?  Are you truly seeking Him and His plan for you in each decision?  Are you using your gifts to the best of your ability?  Just look at yourself reflectively today.  Be thankful for who you are today.  Be thankful for where you are at on your journey.  Be thankful for your support group.  Becoming is a hard long road of faith.  The end result will be well worth its while!

CatMan

A Loving Husband

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I first want to preface this with a note.  A friend posted this on the Book of Face this morning.  Never take anyone in your life for granted.  Take every little moment to say “I love you” and never stop trying.  This could be applicable to every relationship you have.  I hope you were as affected as I was when I first read this.  

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“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us part.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.”

The Five Leaf Clover Incident

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5 (minus a leaf) becomes 4!

It was the morning after the day I went to bed angry…I was minding my own business and I stumbled.  I looked down.  I practically gasped and leaped with joy.  I found a five leaf clover.  (disappointed frown-wah wah!)  I am not going to BORE you with details, but somehow it became a four leaf clover!  Magic?  maybe… Fate?  I suppose… or MAYBE it is simply a reminder to put the anger, sulking and negative whatever behind me.  That is the answer I am going with anyways.  🙂

 

Just in case you want some additional information on the “Four Leaf Clover”:  http://www.catalogs.com/info/garden-yard/facts-about-four-leaf-clovers.html.

 

Have yourself a lucky happy day!!!

We need love

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Dear __________,
In order to be a great husband, wife, parent, friend, daughter, assistant or being in any relationship for that matter one has to be able to be completely selfless.  What I have learned in working with Herb and thru this period of my life (much of which has switched to contemplative) is selflessness and surrendering one’s desires and wants is the first step to happiness.  Giving yourself up for others allows one to see this world from another person’s side.  Being able to look, see, hear, feel, and taste what others do is an amazing feat.  Helps us keep ourselves in check and is humbling.  What a precious gift so easily overlooked.  It makes you understand just how blessed we are.  We need these reality checks often.
When you understand what other’s views are you are able to relate on other levels to humanity as a whole, you can connect other’s with similar standpoints, make more connections between subject matter, and connect with other’s better.  For one who has issues to commitments and has issues with putting other’s first before their own want’s–It’s a matter of need vs. want.  Peace comes from with in the deep core of one’s soul.  Peace comes from balance and if one is out of balance it will never come to be.
Thought to leave you all with:  If we are not balanced and peaceful, then how can we ever expect there to be world peace?  What can we do to find that peace and pass it along in our own world?  Do we need love?  What can you do today to find peace and obtain love?
Begin with you and radiate with great light!
xoxo
CatMan

Random dance party…

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I must say this day has been amazing!  I was out of the office the majority of the day.  I accomplished so much.  I started at the office where I send out a handful of emails.  Then I went to my DR’s appointment(what a bitch it is to go to the DR over balding and heartburn at 25!) where my appointment accidentally got switched.  I was delayed–which is not so bad really.  SO I sent out “Happy Hump Day” messages.  I got a call from Katherine asking what that was…and that was a beautifully short but sweet conversation.  I then went to the store and successfully bought Rogaine (for women) for the first time,  print off all of my pictures to send out, and organized my life.  By the way, if you are ever looking for hair loss medicine, like Rogaine, it will be found on the TOP shelf in the “medicated” hair product section.  You actually have to look up….Well anyways,  I have a new friend that I have been talking to and I will call him Nomad.  And followers….He.  Is.  Wonderful.  We have been talking for a few weeks…and I talked with him for almost 2 hours this evening.  First, I can hear your voice in like 7ish years.  What a wonderful addition!
We met when I was a sophomore in college and literally talked maybe 5 times between then and what we are talking now.  Last contact before this was a Christmas card sent early for break…at 19 I didn’t appreciate it.  BUT, It was pretty funny because, we just kept talking this time and here we are now.  🙂  Such a strangely cool connection.  It’s SO very strange.  We will see if he gets tired of me anytime soon…
So because my language program didn’t workout…I decided to have a random dance party instead.
My play list is as follows:
Flo Rida/Club Can’t Even Handle Me Right Now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOep-pUv-9g
LASTLY:
Coolio/Gangsta’s Paradise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFK6H_CcuX8

 

Enjoy the music as it was picked by yours truly!  If you have any additions YOU my readers would like to see….Please feel free to post and add!

Love, light, and happiness to all,

CatMan