Love is Patient

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So it has been a while since I have been able to share my One Word Challenge.  I assure you that doesn’t go without many lessons in between.  I have been learning so much about myself and about others.  I have been learning about loving interactions as well as what love truly mean.  Love is not always a lovey-dovey feeling where you are constantly wanting to make-out with the person.  Love is not always liking the person either.  Love has its share of hardships and struggles, but love is always a choice.

There are many times to which I have felt I cannot truly love a person because they have hurt me so greatly.  Well the fact of the matter is, I too have hurt myself greatly.  It is a two way street and if I was truly going to hold myself accountable for something I did, not the other party, then I need to own up to it.  Honesty.  A big dose of honesty.  I have realized though in being honest with myself it makes everything clearer in a seemingly cloudy situation.  Relationships you see can be quite messy if you allow them to be.

Love is pretty limitless and straight forward you see.  It is our misconception to what WE think love is that makes it messy.  Can we actually conceptualize love?  I think we can start this journey by first and foremost choosing to love.  It is a paradox.  By choosing something we don’t fully understand–it seems a bit absurd.  We know what it takes to love by the examples set by those who have gone before us.  Take for an instant Jesus.  This man died for me.  If you look at the events surrounding His life, He set an example of complete and total love.  Look at who His best friends were.  They were sinners like you and I.  They were those who were cast aside, deemed unworthy of normal folks, and most of all looked down upon.  Sinners that didn’t deserve the attention of the others.  He surrounded those individuals with love.  You see, when it comes down to it, we are ALL sinners.  It is in our human nature.  We are always going to hurt ourselves and others.  Always.  So what do we do to start this journey of love?

1. Pray.  Pray fervently.  Learn who God is.  Learn who you are in God.  That is where you will really learn to grow in focus and in purpose.  Here too is where you will learn about your vocation (your duty and calling in this life).

2. Learn to integrate God into every decision you make.  If it is not out of love for God, rethink your decision.  This is where we give up our selfish ways.  We surrender our wants and desires for God’s Will for us.  Let go of anything holding us back.  Remember WWJD bracelets?  A constant reminder of our actions?  This is a really hard step.  It is extremely hard to fight against selfishness as it is written in our human DNA.

3. Talk to God about those who have hurt you.  Learn to love through forgiveness.  As you forgive others, God will forgive you.  That is an important part to this puzzle.  This becomes easier as you will grow in understanding toward others through forgiveness.  I have learned in this step a lot of times the person hurting is a misdirection their hurt on to you.  For right, wrong, or the other reason–we should try to see that and love them despite their hurtful actions.

4. Be honest with yourself.  If you know you are struggling with something….something embarrassing.  Something that you could never tell a soul about or you might just die.  Well guess what?  God already knows what you did.  It takes something of true humility to be completely honest with yourself and lay it all out there.  It takes true humility to own up and make up for what you have done.  It changes you.  It simplifies your decisions.  It makes things more clear.

It takes a lot of love.  I have chosen to love without placing limits on myself.  I have chosen to never hold back my love for anyone.  Love puts others needs before our own needs.  That one is a really hard one.  I will never stop witnessing to the love that God shows me each day….or trying to witness to that love.  I will never stop trying my hardest to demonstrate that same love to others.  I am not going to lie though and tell you I have mastered it because I am far from perfect.  It is hard being patient with my 14-year-old brother when he is being a 14-year-old annoying boy.  It is hard for me to love my sister when she is being dramatic about the rules my parents are placing when she can’t use my mom’s phone after 10pm.  It is hard to love friends who cannot tell you to your face they are moving and let you find out via Facebook.  It is so hard not yelling, screaming, keeping it all in perspective when it seems like hell has broken loose.  It is hard loving those who drive you bonkers!

It is hard to love your siblings all the time, but I am asked to love them regardless.  It is hard loving your coworkers when they purposely push your buttons just to see how far they can push until you break.  Love doesn’t break.  Love stays cool and keeps it in perspective.  Love overlooks all of the petty small things.  Love looks deep into the heart of the individual and connects continually.  Love makes all things possible.

Equally, love is patient seems to be a theme.  Love is patient, love is kind.  Love is being patient and kind with ourselves through the journey.  Love unites.  Love brings us out of our misery and what a beautiful blessing when we feel that love radiate from our soul.  What a beautiful notion to love all those who come in contact with whether that is an everyday occurrence, once a year thing or whatever it may be.  Love doesn’t mean you won’t get upset or angry.  Love doesn’t mean that you are going to like or agree with a person’s believes.  Love just means you are going to be available to help them at any given point if that is what you are asked to do.

When it comes down to it, love helps us get through a lot of bull-poo-poo.  It helps us work through our own problems and it helps us appreciate each and every creature or being there is.  It helps us more than we can realize.

Let us be brave enough to choose to love through our pains, sorrows, and hardships.  Let us love non-judgmentally.  Let us love without wavering.  Let us love as God loves us.

Hugs and blessings,
CatMan

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Use your words…I am enough

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You know a realization that I came to the other day?  The english language is one of the most difficult and dynamic of languages with such an extensive array of desired words for any occasion, feeling, or inanimate objects and yet one of the most misunderstood/underused language at that.  With this being said, I feel like we limit ourselves greatly when we choose not to take advantage of learning how to communicate to the fullest ability using a larger vocabulary instead of words that are over used and negative.

Communication is something that is very much-needed to develop solid relationships.  Communicating when you appropriately love someone verse getting angered, sad, or any other emotion you are trying to convey is key to making sure the other clearly understands what you are trying to say.  I feel like a lot of times people in general cannot peg their own emotions; therefore there lies a lot of confusion trying to express their feelings when they cannot properly label it themselves!  Have you ever had that happen to you?  I know it has to me!

My first suggestion, get to know yourself better.  Start separating out what is emotional, physical, mental…start deciding what makes you feel certain ways.  Start identifying the triggers to which set you off (diffuse them), makes you happy (embrace them), makes you calm (learn and seek them), makes you upset (address the root of the nature and act accordingly to fix), and what sets your heart on fire (keep that of which keeps you alive the closest!).  The only way to translate yourself is to literally get to know yourself to the best of your ability.

Once you learn to translate and identify the little idiosyncrasies that your individual self has, you start to bring your awareness and recognize those qualities in others.  You will be able to intelligently make connections with others and inadvertently bond.  You can see your strengths, your weaknesses, your imbalances and where improvement can be made. For me personally, I realized emotionally I was out of balance.   Awareness was key to make that weakness better.

In any given day, have you ever tracked what words you use the most in your vocabulary? Have you ever given it any thought to the implications of these words as they have an effect on your audience?  Are your words predominantly positive or negative?  Do you swear?  Do you belittle people?  Do you try to boost your ego?……all of these questions take honesty.  Figure out why you act the way you do and address the problems.  Work through them.  Working through the problems is hard and takes a great level of honesty. Not everyone is ready to be honest with themselves enough to acknowledge their faults.  It is not a fun feeling dealing with an ego blow…yet when we do face an ego blow, it is one of the most liberating ways to experience freedom and progress!  It is truly a beautiful feeling!!

How you communicate with others will determine how they receive you and perceive you. If you desire a positive perception, act accordingly.  Be kind.  Be loving.  Be yourself unapologetically.  You deserve solid relationships which begin with you.  Do your best always for God and for others.  Remember, you are enough!

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❤ The CatMan

Lessons of Day 60-63: Love is patient, love is kind…

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I have learned several lessons this weekend.  Love is not pushy.  Love doesn’t try to force something to happen because WE think it needs to happen a certain way.  Love is not manipulative and love is most definitely not to objectify the person of interest or affection.  Love is not being a brat to someone just simply because you are hurting.  Love is so much more than what we make it out to be.  With love, everything is simply possible.  We must place our trust and faith a little higher and let God drive.  It is rather comforting to know that He is the one in control of my destiny and all I must do is be obedient, ask for the desires on my heart to be revealed, and remain faithful.

I trust everything happens for a reason.  I came across this article today and I simply wanted to cry.  This is as senseless as it comes and I cannot see a reason for this act.  I suppose to draw attention to the fact that THIS is NOT love.  http://www.examiner.com/article/bullied-boy-dies-after-schoolyard-punch-the-face-leads-to-seizures-and-coma.  This is just cruelty.  We say mean things to which can make others feel abused and dead figuratively.  We need to be aware of that so we are not victimizing others.

I learned also this weekend that I have a past.  I have so much that I have done over the course of my short life and that has made me who I am today.  I am not proud of some of the things I have done, but that has made me a better person over all.  I am to the point where I can look at myself honestly.  I can admit and take responsibility for my faults willingly.  I can discuss my faults openly and for that I too am thankful.  That is a huge milestone.

There were many saints who “lived a little” before becoming so pious.  Saint Augustine is one of them.  I draw much inspiration from him.  I also see so much in forgiving one’s self for their faults.  I realized that I had already been forgiven by the Big Guy, but I needed to be forgiving myself which I think is almost harder than asking for forgiveness in the first place.  It is a different spot to be in to be honest.

I think personally being able to be honest with yourself about who you are and what you desire to become is the beginning of truly seeing yourself as God sees you.  We are each a gift.  We need to view and acknowledge ourselves as such or else I do not believe that we can ever fully appreciate and love ourself to achieve what it is we ultimately deserve.  We deserve to love ourselves for whatever we have become and what we desire to become and aspire to be.  If we cannot love ourselves for the unique beings we are, then how on earth can anyone else see and love us?  It would make it rather hard if you ask me.

Those who get it….well…get it.  Those who don’t….won’t.  Pray for more people to get it.  It makes the world a better place if so!!

Found this little gem...

Found this little gem…