Day 39: I am tired and this is getting hard…

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As Jonathan Livingston Seagull said, “keep on working on Love.”  Dumb book, good quote.  😉 (as delivered by a friend)

Even though this is hard, I will still find humor!  I must as this is a rather heavy post.  Just jam to this one for a while….good ole’ Whitney Houston classic!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C-fD54Inn8

Love most definitely is something that is to be worked on throughly each and every day.  It is hard to think, but much like anything that is a seemingly new way for our brain process we must think about it in everything at first until it becomes second nature.  Love is not something we learn over night, yet if integrated into our lifestyle now, it will become easier and easier to love.  They way of love is deep and intimate.  You start to look at a person and love them despite hurting you.  The hurt as I understand it is what comes across when someone is deeply troubled.  Look past the initial wrong doing.  Stare a little deeper into their heart and soul and realize that this person is very special despite their flaws.  I was taught not to judge another as that is not loving them.  We are taught to help our brother and sister’s out if we are able to yet not to be taken advantage of.  We are encouraged to look through the eyes of God and not that of our human nature.

It is easy to sit and judge a person.  It is harder and more challenging to love on them and pray for them.  The more we pray, the easier it will be to come into a loving light with them.  There are a lot of people in my life that have hurt me or hurt those that I love.  I tend to react verse take a step back and see the reality of the situation.  Emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual misfortune whether warranted by self or other such situations is something I have been called to look upon with TRUTH and conviction.  Yet, if I am really loving this person, then I need to love them in a real way and not speak everything on my mind even though this person lies to themselves, others and really uses and abuses himself and others involved.  We say you are old enough to know better.  It is a tricky sort as to say “he should know better”.  But if a person is really ill, then should we say that?  I think the thing that makes me less tolerant of this specific situation is that the person involved is above getting help.  So as reckless as this road is he is walking, he is the only one that can choose otherwise.

How to have compassion toward someone that has a problem with substance abuse, how to have love toward someone whose demons seemingly mask themselves underneath the surface–then they are OK until the next episode where they manipulate their way back,  and how am I to do this??  I will tell you.  I am called to pray for them.  That is the hardest.  Pray for their awareness.  Pray for my ability to have compassion and to speak the TRUTH toward him and be the beacon of light to which I am called to be.  That is how one develops compassion through times as such.

I am a big proponent that if someone has a problem, you hit that nail on the head.  You fix the problem and you move on….in many cases it is not that simple.  I would like to think that everything should be so simple, yet due to fear, anguish, guilt, and other such negative thoughts that are infiltrated into our core as we are humans all cause such complications as to “not deal” with the situation rather put a temporary bandaid on it.  Bandaids will fall off and nothing will be corrected.  That part frustrates me.  Get help.  I say this out of love because I am tired of seeing the same wrong doing repeated toward others.  I am tired of seeing those I love hurt.  I love him, really I do.

Today’s Prayer:
“Lord grant me the ability to love this person as you love me and all of my many faults as I know I am not perfect.  Let me think about every word before it escapes my lips.  Let it be words driven by truth and love.  Let me contemplate my every action before it is done.  Let my action be driven by truth and love.  Let my thoughts be pure and think only out of love of my family, friends, and those who are placed in my path today.  Let all of my life be driven by love! Amen.”

Exhaustion at it's finest

Exhaustion at it’s finest

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A Tribute to Whitney: what I have learned…

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One can only be reckless for so long before our body has enough.  Do something for your OWN well being and appreciate the gift you are today.  I know that this reckless and unnecessary behavior has lead to so many premature deaths in my own world or in that of the “Celebrity” universe as well.  

A situation came up this weekend where someone criticized a “remembrance of life” of the one and only Whitney Houston.  By criticizing someone over mourning the life of someone that they never personally met and who was seemingly being praised and remembered for her train wreck personal life is just wrong.  We are mourning a life taken too soon and a talent still with such potential if only she made different decisions.  Despite her personal decisions, there is no denying the amount of impact this one little soul had not only on developing a Gospel-fed genre of music integrated into mainstream music to which inspired many, but personally touched so many women and men everywhere.  I personally felt that her music was genuine and her vocals were a God-given talent.  I cannot tell you how many times I sing her songs in the shower, in the car, singing Karaoke, or otherwise having a bad day.  She not only inspired other artists to expand their vocals and outreach, but inspired me to let the lungs wail once in a while in a healthy and positive manner.  EVERYONE needs that.

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This is how I will always remember Ms. Houston...

Sometimes simply singing one of her songs in the privacy of my humble abode just simply makes my day a little better.  Brighter.  Her amount of emotion, my amount of matching emotion usually was enough to just allow me to breathe clearer as the song would end.  It clears my mind, heart, and allows me to actually think clearer.  One may never fully appreciate or know the extent to which a song or a person have affected us as a human being usually until it is too late. 

And you know, I felt sorry for her home life.  We can’t ever judge that.  All I can say is that we have our own choice to love and I believe that she truly tried to love despite all that was happening.  This beautiful soul failed in one regard in my opinion…that was in loving herself.  The body cannot handle what she became toward the end of her life….and not to mention after she met Bobby Brown.  That is the true tragedy.  

If there is one thing I have learned thru Whitney Houston’s death, it’s that life is so fragile and we need to thank God everyday for the breath to live just one more day.  Life is never guaranteed.  It is so important, now more than ever, to learn to turn to the light and take positive steps forward.  We must always be working on ourselves and loving ourselves selflessly.  This then starts to translate and permeate other relationships we might have in our lives.  Love God first, love self second and allow God to work thru us in a positive manner.

If you take anything from this post, anything at all, just remember to say ‘I love you’ to the people that mean something to you.  Give hugs and keep in touch.  Appreciate who is given to you and their worth to you as you never know when they might be called away.  No regrets, right?

❤ The CatMan